On Saturdays, it’s couples and single ladies, but on Thursday’s a small amount of single men are welcome too
In fact, the manager reveals that the club has 20,000 members and another 5,000 on the waiting list, and some of the less desirable men will never get a membership.
Around 2am, I find myself on a sofa with Cassandra on the top floor, discussing the evening’s events with the club’s manager. On the sofa next to us, two ladies have switched partners and are giving the men blowjobs.
We decide that as far as casual sex goes, Le Boudoir is far superior to flicking through Tinder for a night of ‘Netflix and Chill’.
Oddly, the former is far more respectful, even if you should find yourself in bed with multiple people in one night. You’re highly encouraged to find out for yourself, although I’d recommend bringing a plus one if it’s your first time.
And yes, I know what you’re thinking: did I accept one of the extended hands or find myself in the throes of passion with Scotland?
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Personally, I imagined them as places for exhibitionists, people with extreme sexual preferences and the odd perv, standing in the corner and w***ing himself off to the whole thing.
Last night, I visited Le Boudoir, a members club that hosts sex parties every week, held at a secret London location.
In an effort to blend in, I’d dressed provocatively in the little black lingerie dress that I reserve for special occasions. I’d also brought along a female friend, who we’ll call Cassandra, although that’s not her real name.
Le Boudoir is a bring-your-own venue, and I suddenly regretted that we’d only armed ourselves with one bottle of wine.
I needn’t have worried though, as Master Boudoir, the club’s impeccably dressed host, had already prepared a special treat for us – personalised vodka bottles.
As we enter the main floor, the club’s social room, the atmosphere is mixed; some couples are sat huddled together on sofas, while others are eyeing each other up, and one lady is having a spin on the stripper pole.
I tried the pole myself later that evening and was far less impressive, which the developing bruise on my bum is proof of.
‘We get lots of newbies, and I think what’s exciting for them is that there are so many possibilities here,’ he says. ‘People who come here definitely seem to have a great sense of humour, and they’re engaging and great characters.’
It’s dark and inviting, and smells faintly of popcorn, a trick the club has implemented to conceal the natural smell of sex that’ll soon fill the air.
As we descend the stairs, I spot a large bed with a TV above it, set to porn, and a large vibrator, free for all to use. An hour later I saw a woman give her partner a blowjob as she enjoyed the vibrator herself, so it definitely gets used.
The building used to be a bank, and owners of Le Boudoir have kept many of the original fittings, including the vault which, coincidentally, is home to the dungeon.
‘The dungeon affords lots of excitement,’ Master Boudoir explains, including a padded wall, a St. George’s cross and a spanking bench with restraints. Sometimes, couples will say to me ‘Master Boudoir we’ve seen you do your thing, would you mind showing us your techniques’.